Happily Ever After

Archive for March 2012


Posted on: March 28, 2012

I wasn’t sure what to title this post. A lot has been going on this week. I had my first lining check on 3/26. My lining was 7.45 and my estrogen level was 517. My TSH is still on the hyper side so I freaked out but my OB says that it’s perfect because pregnancy will make me go hypo (which is true). My lining is usually a 10 by my first ultrasound (my lining grows really fast) and I booked our plane tickets weeks ago based on that history. I mean 6 IVF’s and 2 FET’s and after 7 days my lining is always 10+mm. So I was shocked that it was only 7.45mm. SO my doctor upped my estrogen to 8mg in orally and 4mg vaginal. (now my undies are blue LOL) And he added a 1cc shot of estrogen…which for some reason my ins won’t cover unless a doctor prescribes it so it was $130!! (but they cover PIO which is also injected in the butt…). So I was supposed to get the estrogen overnighted to me but apparently the plane never took off so they had to order it to me to receive today (instead of yesterday). so I was 1 day late taking the shot. I had it delivered at work but forgot my needles at home (I told them I didn’t need any). So I drove home from work and gave myself the shot and drove back.

Yesterday was my intralipids and it went really well. The ladies at the Yarmouth Maine Coram office are really nice. The Nurse that helped give me the infusion did some IUI’s but could never afford IVF so I don’t think they have any children. Today I’m not feeling well at all thanks to the infusion (headache, nausea). Hopefully tomorrow I feel better. I just feel so run down!

I’ve also had to go back and forth between my California nurse and the local clinic doing my monitoring (they have been having a hard time getting faxes to each other which made for a lot of phone calls on my part). I really don’t like my local clinic (Garrison Woman’s health).

I’ll be sooooooo glad when this FET is over!



Posted on: March 20, 2012

I had my base line for FET #3 yesterday. I’m VERY glad to say that it went well and I started estrogen today. I am so happy! I really really hate the side effects from lupron depot and can’t wait till my estrogen levels get higher so these hot flashes end and I can get a good nights sleep again.

I have a lot on my mind at the moment but I’m not quite sure how to put it into words. My husband is a very private person and thus I tend to me also. Being private is a good thing because if people don’t know about our infertility then they can’t say anything stupid. But it also means I don’t get the support I need sometimes. And at church when pregnant woman or new moms get a lot of attention and help I get jealous. Where is everyone when I need them? But then I remind myself, if people don’t know I’m struggling they can’t help. I’m just barely starting to be more open about mentioning my miscarriage in passing to people. Mostly it’s when they ask how I lost weight. Well I had a miscarriage, so my thyroid crashed and then I had 2 surgeries etc. probably to much information but oh well. It feels good to be open about it. But I hate seeing the look of sadness on their face when I mention it. So I usually swiftly change the subject…again not sure why.

I’ve been open with a few friends about my up coming FET and it feels good to be able to confide in people about it.

Well yet again it’s been a while since I have written. I’m not really sure how to sum up the last few month’s.

At work I have TONS of pregnant co workers. It seems as though there are always pregnant woman.  I also work in the FMLA department so I process FMLA stuff. After my miscarriage all the pregnancy FMLA forms for people due in April started coming in. (my due date was 4/21/12) That was tough. After that I got used to that I found out 3 of my co workers are also due in April. That took a bit of getting used to as well. I’m ok with it now. However the closer it gets to my due date the harder things have become. I had another friend announce her pregnancy (she is about 20 weeks along and no one knew lol). I’m happy for her but it opened up the flood gates for me. My due date is nearly a month away and I’ve been having all kind of mixed feelings. Instead of preparing for motherhood I’m preparing for my 3rd and final FET. This will be IVF cycle #9.

Yesterday I spent some time setting up the nursery…I think I mentioned that my husband and I got a new home. I didn’t put the crib together but I put everything else where I wanted it. I felt much better after…not sure why. Then I spent some time looking at pictures of the baby we adopted that was taken back from us. Again I’m not sure why I did this but I do find myself doing this from time to time. I guess it’s because I really really enjoyed motherhood. I am SOOOOOOO ready to be a mom.

Speaking of our new home here are some pictures!


Shed in the back yard


The wall color looks odd in this picture

We call this the Den
This was taken before we moved in so it’s not our stuff. You can see how the “den” opens up into the kitchen

view from the living room
Living room. Again not our stuff.

This is the spare room above the garage. It’s HUGE

Dining room

Master bedroom. We each have our own closet! Mine is the HUGE walk in closet in the picture 🙂

Pictures not included are my husbands office, my sewing room and the nursery. Jon and I love having our own “rooms”. The yard is 1.01. acres. Not all of it is cleared. Part of it is woods. We are right off a cul de sac but very private so it’s perfect. So far we have seen 6 deer and one HUGE fox in our yard. Needless to say my vegetable garden will have tall deer fencing around it this year.

Currently I’m on lupron depot for my 3rd and final FET. Have I told you how much I HATE this drug? It messes with my mood big time. I’ll be fine one second and freaking out the next because of something small (and I mean small). My husband and I can laugh at it now. We have called my “alternate personality” Jessica. After the girl in Hero’s that had 2 sides (anyone that has seen the show will understand). it’s a joke now between my husband and our close friends. Better to laugh at myself then be miserable right?

And of course the hot flashes come at night. Always at night. I’m freezing one second and feel like I’m on fire the next. It also makes my headaches worse and makes me feel tired constantly.

Well I think that’s enough of an update for now. My baseline is on 3/19 and if all goes well my embryo transfer will be on 4/3. We fly to CA on 4/2 and fly home on 4/6. (we are making it into another vacation!) I can’t WAIT to go to CA with my hubby again!