Happily Ever After

Archive for June 2010

question

Posted on: June 11, 2010

Ok some of the blogs I used to follow are “invite only” now. I haven’t kept up with this blog or my friends blog in a long time but I plan on posting here again. How do you request an invite to a blog? I haven’t seen where it gives you the option to contact someone. In particular I had 2 blog buddies that I did IVF’s together. They went on to have their babies but the support we gave each other will never be forgotten and I’d like to catch up with them.

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struggling

Posted on: June 10, 2010

Ok so I’m supposed to be journaling as I grieve the loss of our son. (feels weird to say that since he’s someone else’s baby now). I have done a really crappy job of doing that though.

Honestly I don’t even know where to start. I go places like the beach, church, shopping ect ect and think “he should be with me right now” His first beach trip, ect. I try not to think that way but it just kind of happens.
I’m also struggling with finding a job. I have been laid off for almost 1.5 years. I had a temp job that I stopped working at just before he was born. I was going to be a stay at home mom. Silly to some but that has been what I have wanted ever since I can remember. Now I’m back to looking for work and can’t even get a call back for jobs that pay LESS then HALF of what I was making before. Got to love the economy. Luckily my husband is very successful and makes plenty for us to live on and I still get unemployment. But I feel like such a failure. Can’t have kids, can’t find a job. I struggle with depression every day. I am seeing my therapist again so hopefully that will help. If I don’t improve she’ll suggest antidepressants but neither of us want that.
I think that’s enough for today. I really don’t want to dig up these feelings again today.